Personal Change Management

What triggers change? Change happens for one of two reasons. We are pushed into it or pulled into it. When we are pushed into change it is because of external circumstances, things beyond our control; such as, layoff, divorce, or death of a loved one. Something happens that we do not have control over and we are forced to make a change. Often times when we are pushed to make a change, it happens suddenly and there is not a lot of time to prepare for it. Even when we do know that the change is inevitable, when it finally happens we may still feel like we are not quite ready for it.

On the flip-side, when we are pulled into change it is self-induced. It is something we want and are moving towards. We may initiate a career change, relocation or marriage. This does not necessarily make the transition any easier. Even though you initiated a change, you still have to make all sorts of adjustments in your life. While change can ultimately be productive and an improvement the adjustment could very well be painful.

How do you handle transition? The question then arises of how we handle the transition, whether we are pushed or pulled to change. When you are pushed to change suddenly, how do you react? Are you a “go with the flow” type of person or are you more comfortable in a predictable environment, always knowing what’s going to happen next? In order to answer how you find comfort in the middle of change, you may need to reflect back to other times in your life when you’ve made a change. Think about how you handled it then? What sparks your stress? What do you need to make that leap of faith in order to have a successful transition?

I am reminded of the movie Finding Nemo, where the lead characters are trapped in a whale’s mouth. They have to take a leap of faith and let go of the whale, follow the flow of water and trust that he will somehow escape. His friend Dory says, “It’s time to let go! Everything is going to be alright." Marlin replies, "How do you know? How do you know something bad isn't going to happen?" Dory matter-of-factly explains, "I don't."

What is your stress relief mechanism? Do you find that you need external encouragement to take that leap - Someone to bounce your ideas off of; someone who will be your personal cheerleader? Is your method something that happens when you isolate yourself and can be alone with your thoughts and work it through?

Kathy, an Executive Director of a private-non-profit, explains that she ikes to mow her lawn. It’s a physical work out that I can do from start to finish. I can see the progress and it provides beautiful results.” Kathy Garcia, the Business Manager of Business One Stop Services explains that she writes first thing in the morning to free up her mind and remove the clutter. This allows her to tap into the depths of her creativity. Other methods that have worked for people are a 20-minute nap, talking with someone who lifts your spirits, or a short brisk walk. Whether it is exercise or laughing through your favorite movie, the key is to release your endorphins. Those are the great chemicals in our brain that give us “make us happy” and give us a sense of well-being.

Leap of Faith. When Jennifer, a Human Resource Manager at a large, rural business had her 2nd child, she realized that she needed a change in her life. The problem, she explained later, is that “I didn’t know what that change needed to be. I knew I wanted to stop my 30 minute commute and that I wanted more time with my family, but also that I needed to work – not just financially, but for my soul.” In between the tearful nights and foggy days, she stumbled upon the website of a local career coach. She was unsure of what was involved, but took the online quiz to see if “coaching is right for [her]” and decided to go for it.

Jennifer reflects back to the emotional, uncomfortable moments throughout the 12-week coaching process, “No matter how uneasy I felt, I stayed committed to the process.” One of the things that Jennifer admits to why it was so successful for her was that she had a trusted person to talk to. She is externally motivated and needed a sounding board. Jennifer trusted the process, did her “homework” assignments to learn more about herself and the voids she needed to fill her life. Once she moved beyond the stifling barriers in her way, she found clarity and focus; two essential ingredients to survive change and transition.

Stress can be good. Something to remember is that stress is not always a bad thing. Have you ever had a project that you successfully completed by its deadline. Somehow you managed to muster up that focus and attention that were needed to do a good job. That’s good stress. That’s the pressure that motivates us.

When Paul learned that he had to put together a new presentation that is scheduled in less than a week, he felt that stress that is familiar to all of us. On top of his regular work duties and his manager being away at a conference, he pondered how he was going to be able to get everything accomplished without losing quality or substance. He buckled down. He prioritized his work load. He delegated some of his everyday tasks. He put his phone on “do not disturb.” He turned on his music and spent hours of uninterrupted time focused on the presentation.
This may not be the way we want to spend our regular work days, but it does indicate that stress can be used in a positive way. Paul’s seminar, by the way, turned out to be standing room only.

Change is necessary. It is common, and it is temporary. Vince Lombardi sums it up best by saying, “The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.”